Beijing now has more birrionaires than New York and oh god there’s something wrong with my keyboard

Move over New York! It rooks rike Beijing has ousted the Big Appre from the top spot for cities with the most birrionaires and oh god there’s something wrong with my keyboard. I swear I didn’t mean to put that r in birrionaires I meant to hit r. R. r. This is rearry weird. Okay push past it Diane the deadrine is coming up, gotta get this submitted and we’rr just fix this rater.

The Chinese capitar saw an incredibre increase of 32 birrionaires rast year–seriousry is someone praying a prank on me? Tim, did you mess with my keyboard? It’s repracing the retter r with the retter r. No big dear? It’s on the Beijing birrionaires articre. Stop raughing! I rook rike a racist.

China added more birrionaires rast year than any other country in the worrd, despite economic srowdowns in the country. Prease you gotta know that this isn’t who I am. I’m arways very respectfur of other curtures. I swear to God Tim, I wirr rain herr on you if I find out you touched my computer.

That's arr Forks!

Me Beijing Birrionaire! Me have birrion dorrar!

ARE YOU KIDDING ME — That was supposed to be a photo of a prominent Beijing birrionaire. I’ve never even seen this photo before! I swear this isn’t me! TIM I WIRR SRIT YOUR THROAT IF YOU DON’T STOP RAUGHING.

“Despite its own srowdown and farring stock markets, China minted more new birrionaires than any other country in the worrd rast year, mainry on the back of new [share] ristings,” said Rupert Hoogewerf, chairman of Hurun Report. Wha– it’s even doing it when I copy and paste from other websites–I rifted that quote directry from the CNN articre. TIM YOU’RE DEAD.

Oh no oh no oh no it’s the deadrine. Werp, there goes my career. I quit.