Stocks Surge as Market Reacts to Kanye’s New Album

The Dow Jones Industrial Average is up for the third day in a row as stock market analysts react to Kanye West’s new album The Life of Pablo. 

While songs like Wolves motivate the wolves on Wall Street, other tracks like Waves have inspired an almost religious understanding of the market. With the lyrics “Let me crash you for the moment / I don’t need to own it / No lie / Waves don’t die”,  it seems Kanye is coming clean for his part in the unexpected market crash back in August, but now inspires us to believe that the bull market is a wave that will never die, so long as we believe in it. He alludes to this further in the album’s opening Ultralight Beam, with its sample of a young girl shouting “We don’t want no devils in the house! We want the Lord!” It’s obvious to most Wall Street insiders that this is a message for them from Kanye, with the devil being the bear and the lord being the bull.

Other stocks and markets also saw the Kanye bump today. Clorox is up following market speculation that these lyrics from Father Stretch My Hands “Now if I f**k this model/ And she just bleached her a**hole/ And I get bleach on my T-shirt/ I’mma feel like an a**hole.” will popularize DIY asshole bleaching.

Life Of Pablo Cover Photo

Reading Between the Lines of the New Kanye Album

Similarly Twitter stock got a small bump today as the lyrics “I know it’s corny bitches you wish you could unfollow I know it’s corny n****s you wish you could unswallow” helps cement the digital sharing service’s inescapable place in culture.

World markets also saw a huge boost thanks to the album. Shanghai’s market is up 91 points due to Taylor Swift’s forthcoming plans to launch a clothing line in China. After West’s line “I feel like me and Taylor might still have sex Why? I made that bitch famous (God damn). I made that bitch famous.” After getting yet another Kanye West bump analysts are expecting the Chinese economy to surge as it shifts from electronics to Taylor Swift clothing.

While the long term impact of this album isn’t yet known, we do know that the markets did enjoy a long, slow build following the 2013 release of Yeezus. One thing is for sure, it looks like today Kanye’s got the market going up!